Lingyun was wandering in the mountains and became lost in his walking. He rounded a bend and saw peach blossoms on the other side of the valley. This sight awakened him and he wrote this poem:
For thirty years I searched for a master swordsman.
How many times did the leaves fall
and the branches break into bud?
But from the moment I saw the peach blossoms,
I’ve had no doubts.
Centuries later the Japanese teacher Keizan responded with his own poem:
The village peach blossoms didn’t know
their own crimson
but still they freed Lingyun
from all his doubts.
Today is the first day of Spring. We are well into the lengthening of days, the air is warming and the geese are making their way north. On the first day of spring I celebrate the rising, the awakening, the movement into the new. So, why not this wonderful spring koan, — Lingyun is walking the mountains, rounds the bend and sees the peach blossoms on the other side of the valley. Awakening!
Thirty Years
And he wrote a poem. With this poem, I feel with Lingyun.
For thirty years I searched for a master swordsman.
How many times did the leaves fall
and the branches break into bud?
I have given my life to the spiritual search. TM, John of the Cross, Teresa of Avila, Thomas Merton. I have studied with Henri Nouwen, Jerry May, Tilden Edwards, Seung Sahn, John Tarrant and other roshis and friends at the Pacific Zen Institute. Throughout my life I have known that there is another world — one where it all comes together. Like a moth to the flame, a catfish to the lantern, a early bird to the worm, I have been drawn — at times relying on ways of knowing, at other times giving up, throwing my hands up and admitting that I just don’t know. Curiously, almost without fail, when I give up this other world seems to close in.
So, for thirty years Lingyun searched. It is a joy to search and wonder, and open and question. It is a joy too to embrace frustration and despair, to quest (just as an aside, perhaps you remember Monty Python’s scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, The Bridge of Death). Thirty years, searching is to keep the question, sometimes consciously, sometimes outside of awareness, What is this? So, I meditate and study, I find and lose faith, believe and then live without belief. Thirty years…that sounds about right.
And All the While…
Leave fall.
The branches break in bud.
The birds call, the hens lay, the sun rises in the east, the horses call to be let out of the barn, her smile greets me in the morning.
“There is another world, but it is in this one.” Paul Eluard, sometimes used as a koan.
There is another world and it is right here, all the time. How many times….asks Lingyun, did the leaves fall, the branches break in bud?
I have noticed over these 30 years how easy it is to live one step removed, to live in the commentary, the inner chatter. This will often come forward as I name things, that is the horse asking to be let out, the name of that song is “Into the Mysitc; Van Morrison sings it, he is Irish, but once lived in Northern California. Blah, blah, blah — one step, two steps removed — one step, two steps from my right here. Enter opinions, ideas about life. Three steps. And here I am missing it: Leaves still fall. The branches still break into bud. Life is beautiful like that: it is not what I think, and it just keeps on.
Awakening at Last!
Awakening is not something we can conceive of, we cannot think our way to it. One old teacher said, “Move towards it, you move away from it.” Ok. Well, then it is always a surprise. We don’t find it, awakening finds us. Peach blossoms find us. The Universe finds us. And we stir, foundations shake. Lingyun rounds the bend, there they are, the peach blossoms across the valley — they find him — no doubts, no opinions either — just the peach blossoms, the intimacy of awakening. Lingyun disappears in a moment of peach blossoms.
A week and a half ago a foot of wet snow fell on Panola Ridge. It was so beautiful! Early in the morning, just around sunrise, I ventured in to the yard around the house. As I stepped into the driveway a huge Craaaaack! filled the air. The sound found me and there was, for a moment, just a crack. Soon, the thoughts rushed in. A large branch over the house, it can fall and crush the house, better do something. But, in the moment of Craaaaack! no doubts.
An Opening
For me this is a opening into the spiritual life. The peach blossoms, the craaaack, the redwood tree, me, all woven together, an inter penetrating reality. And indeed the foundations I thought I had are shaken, there is just this, here, here and here. Now. Lingyun and David P are brothers without doubt. Interconnected or whatever. But what now? I see hints in the later verse on Lingyun’s experience:
The village peach blossom didn’t know
their own crimson
but still they freed Lingyun
from all his doubts.
As I move into the world, what is it to be David and not know and STILL play my part in the universal dance. Without comment or opinion or idea, without right or wrong, what is it to blossom and bloom, the open and show in the sun? To do my part and respond as life unfolds? What is the character of emptiness as David lives in the world? The 30 years becomes 40; 40 becomes 50, what is it for David to be free? Here, here and here. Now.
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